I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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