i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
