I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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