my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
