i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
