I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize