Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
