WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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