we made out on top of his cat.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize