So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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