I hate all girls vehemently.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
