im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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