Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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