Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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