Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
