You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
