Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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