I am in a vortex of obligation.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
