I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
