Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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