Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
