I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize