people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
