I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
