oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We are all done wearing pants today
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
