Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Green mimosas i think yes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize