dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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