yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
