I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
