i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize