I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We need to get me chipped asap
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