I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
