At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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