she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
