I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize