Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
