I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
