i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
