return my video game
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
