She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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