she was so not down for the gang bang
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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