was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high