this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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