16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
my liver is dry heaving
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
