road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
