Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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