My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
