why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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