Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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