You made me cry and you don't even care
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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