how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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