On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
