So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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