I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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