You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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